When A Loved One is Dying 
Anticipatory grief is grief that occurs as a loved one with a prolonged illness is dying. This type of grief is different from grief after death because there can be more anger, frustration and the inclination to feel emotionally out of control. Again, because grief is a highly personal experience, not everyone experiences anticipatory grief and some may find anticipatory grief to be more stressful than grief felt after a loved one dies. In part, this is because anticipatory grief requires one to adjust and adapt to ongoing changes in their loved one’s prognosis, daily care and emotional spirits. Anticipatory grief does not take the place of grief. It does not give you a “head start.”
Anticipatory grief includes many different losses, such as the loss of future plans, loss of a life companion, possible financial losses and the shifting and changing roles within a family. During this time, it is important to spend time together, share memories and express your feelings. Remember to include children and keep a sense of humor. Spirituality is important and the effects of meditation, holistic therapy, massage, yoga, organized religion and prayer can make a profound impact. Give permission for your loved one to die and seek help when needed.
For those individuals who are at the end of life, this time allows you to reconcile differences with friends and family, find closure and say goodbye. This is a time of reflection for those who are dying.
Practical things to do to prepare for the end of life
- Financial
- Organize paperwork, contact information, login information
- Contact lawyer, accountant, or financial advisor
- Legal matters
- Update beneficiaries
- Make sure an executed, valid will is in place
- Relationship matters
- Notify family and friends
- Address any unresolved issues
- Share passwords to social media accounts
- Medical
- Clarify personal medical wishes and directives
- Funeral wishes and preferences
- Are there any spiritual, religious or secular practices that need to be performed at the time of death
- What time of funeral celebration and celebrant is desired
- Religious, secular, family friend or none
Certified Life Celebrants help create a funeral service, memorial service, or tribute that reflects the personality and lifestyle of the deceased. The celebrant personalizes all services by working with the family and loved ones.
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